Me being Me

I'm doomed for infinity.

Storm!!!

I should have seen this coming!

You scored as Storm.

Storm is the seconday team leader of the X-Men. She has a peaceful personality but must be careful since her emotions control her powers. She loves gardening and is afaid of tight spaces. Powers: Control of the Weather.

Blue

I think I took a somewhat similar quiz four years back and got the same results.. haven't changed much. Should that be a bummer?

You scored as Blue. You are considered to be a very calm person who takes things one at a time and does not worry too much about the consequences. Whatever happens, happens, is your moto. You are the one people come to for advise on most topics, because you are filled with limitless knowledge. You can handle any situation.

Unprepared for Net meltdown

I was thinking about this possibility in the morning when I later came across this article. This should be interesting. A single day without internet is hard to imagine these days and here the gurus are talking about a complete meltdown. Apart from the financial crisis this would cause across the globe, I'm thinking it might not be so bad on a lower level. It just might compel some retards ( read me ) to get back in the real world.

C'mon Rowling!

So there's this speculation that Harry is going to die in the final HP book. I guess anyone who has read previous books kind of saw it coming, because unless there's a way to alter the prophecy(which I don't think is even possible) Harry's chances of survival are next to none. But two more are to die? Is that two more 'other' than Harry or two 'including' Harry? My first thoughts were Ron and Hermione.. I mean those two haven't even gotten together yet! Snape is also a possibility but somehow I don't buy him being a murderer, he had come too far for this. The battle sequences in the last two books were pretty intense, everyone dying left right.. and this time its war. I hope she doesn't kill all the good ones cuz I sure as hell still can't get over Dumbledore's death >_>

Sunshine

There's just something so cheerful and bright about early mornings that I find myself all pepped up at that time. I love to get up early, pull aside the curtains and just enjoy day light. But my timings are so screwed up these days that I sleep all day long and stay awake during night uptill dawn. Did I mention I need to get a life? Like seriously.

Who me?!

I took the brat pack who are you test and guess what i got! I find it funny cuz Claire is probably the only Breakfast club character I always disliked.

Blessing in disguise

I have been told for the longest time by practically everyone I know that you need friends to live and survive. I've grown up watching my father spending most of his time with friends than with family. So I suppose somewhere unconsciously maybe I had the impression that friends are special. I held on to them.. always, and stuck with them through thick and thin. My life seemed to revolve around them. I lived for them. Oddly enough, I can no longer relate to that same old person. In my head, I keep asking myslef, what the hell were you thinking?

Perhaps all those years were an attempt to fit in somewhere. I know I've never really been content but then again, I doubt it that even mattered. However, a point comes when you see things from a different prespective. When you look at people, not as your friends but as individuals. In a way, that gives you the liberty to choose the people you want in your life. I guess I made my mind about that a long time ago. I may not know what I want from life but I do have a very clear idea about what I don't want.

I never thought I'd say this but cutting off ties with people from your past is sometimes a good idea. It gives you a sense of freedom, in a very strange way. You see who you are and realize how important it is to understand and love yourself.

Colour discrimination

There is nothing I hate more in the world than people being discriminated because of their natural skin colours. In the sick minds of some, white is pure while black; tainted. How someone is flawed just because he has a brown or black complexion. Its particularly sinful for a girl to have a dark skin, as if it makes her a less of an individual. Its a dilemma most, if not all, desis suffer from and they don't even have any qualms about admitting it. Its like human beings have come down as items to be showcased in every society of the world.

I realize that Arooj is different from me, and its not just because of skin colour. She's a separate individual alltogether. I want her to have the freedom to think as she wants and to have the space she requires to be herself. Unfortunately, my family has this theory of saying harsh things to her so that she's prepared for the real world. Maybe they can't see it but she's 6 and does not need to be prepared for anything. If anything, at this stage their attitude will instill in her a feeling of lesser being. At times I feel that I just might explode becuase nothing I say affects them. Perhaps they fear our retarded relatives. What they don't realize is that I will, in all probability beat the living shit out of anyone who dare says a dim word to arooj.

Why doesn't anyone else see it? I feel like I'm breaking my head against a wall. Black is Beautiful.

Additional time

Add 12 hours to yesterday's 8 hours, thats 20 hours of work. And precisely 37.25 hours of being awake. I surprise myself sometimes.

Bloody Database!

I've been working on the database project for .. lets see, around 14 hours with 6 hours of sleep and an hour long lunch and dinner break in between. Thats 8 hours of work. Although the figure might not seem huge but its a different stroy when you're working on something as crappy as database. On top of that, Access has been giving errors which are just beyond me. So yes, I'm pissed as hell.

Blackbird

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life

You were only waiting for this moment to arise.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life

You were only waiting for this moment to be free.

Blackbird fly
Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life

You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Across the Universe

Words are flying out like
endless rain into a paper cup
They slither while they pass
They slip away across the universe
Pools of sorrow waves of joy
are drifting thorough my open mind
Possessing and caressing me

Jai guru deva om
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world

Images of broken light which
dance before me like a million eyes
That call me on and on across the universe
Thoughts meander like a
restless wind inside a letter box
they tumble blindly as
they make their way across the universe

Jai guru deva om
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world

Sounds of laughter shades of life
are ringing through my open ears
exciting and inviting me
Limitless undying love which
shines around me like a million suns
It calls me on and on across the universe

Jai guru deva om
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world

Ugly Combination

Boredom combined with chronic rage.

Blah.

I'm the kind of person who constantly needs to be doing something productive in order to stay rational. I've always been on a go for the most part of my life, and I prefer it that way. I don't depend on my friends for anything and don't expect from life in general. I'm not easily satisfied and tend to be clumsy at times. I take things as they come and never plan ahead. I enjoy being alone and spending time by myself. But I can not stand staying indoors even though I'm lazy by nature. I like connecting with people but do not easily let people inside my life. I feel a varying contrast between what I'm in real and what I may appear on the web. I used to suffer from mood swings and in way, multiple personality disorder. However, during the last one year I've spent most of my time on self-introspection. Thats probably when I started moving away from people. I think I tried to connect dots in life and succeeded to an extent. But maybe that move was too early for me because I find my life changing every split second.

Fahrenheit 9/11

I finally watched it this morning and enjoyed it more than I had expected. I can't say much about it being politically correct or false thereof, but I do agree with the human sentiment protrayed. Starting off with the bigoted leaders of the wealthy nations, well I doubt if anyone will ever be able to get a true picture of them. What they do and what it is they want, particularly with the power and involvement of media. Though its evident that nobody believes a word they say. Or at least thats what I hope for.

You can't just wipe out an entire nation just because you have issues with its leader or a certain group living in the country. And even though the film was emotionally moving, its depiction of the Saudis suggests that four years back US should have gone at the war with KSA instead of Iraq or Afganistan. I mean doesn't anyone get it? Killing innocent people is WRONG. There is no way to justify the death of a slaughtered human being. But the saddest part is that I have done absolutely nothing to help or aid even a single person. We all live in our own selfish shells. We see and forget. Fours years since the wars begun, and how much has changed? If anything more and more people have died and suffered. Or do we believe that everything is out of our control? Maybe it is. But what harm is a little effort on our part making?

Tired.

Came back from the Toastmasters meeting two hours back. They have been giving me headaches lately. I think its the lighting in the hall, we switched hotels 2 weeks back cuz the old one is booked for another six months. Everyone kept asking me about my plans ahead.. and as weird as it might sound coming from me, I gave them all different answers. I was, however, careful around my father. Sony uncle was particularly encouraging about my performance, he's the DTM of our district. I think I was in time during my session but I could sense people becoming restless towards the end because of the long time taken by speakers before me. That made me and my conclusion fussy. The session was originally supposed to be 15 minutes long as per the agenda but it was cut short to 5. I hate it when key role players take longer time. Or maybe it was a blessing in disguise given my throat condition.

Yesterday we had fish.. I don't recall the name but it was kind of sour. An hour later, I had trouble talking because I felt someting itchy in the throat. Apparently, it was a fish bone stuck in my throat, though considerably small but still irritating. The genius inside me said that you can get it out with your finger. I managed to push it further deep. I've tried lemon juice, dry bread and rice, vinegar and water since then. Somebody even suggested that eating bananas might help. Of course nothing could cure the pain. But it doesn't always hurt, only when I talk with my neck on the left. Thats where that damn thing is stuck. I haven't eaten so much in the past one week as much as I've had in the last two days, in the hopes that the bone might go down. I think I'm gonna give it one more day before I finally go see a doc. Does that make me the laziest person out there? :D

Shiloh

This picture was probably the highlight of last week. Just look at the way this kid is sleeping, cracks me up every time. What I don't get is why they had to give her such a difficult name.. I doubt if anyone will be able to pronounce it correctly. Oh well, she's cute anyway. Looks more like Angelina in this pic though. Only a couple of weeks old and already a baby-celeb. Reminds me, guessing from this picture Brad is finally aging :D

Whining (Part 1)

I want to see the sky bend over and the earth to crumble. I want to see the oceans weep. I want to see the sun and moon disappear. I want to see every creature of this planet on his knees. I want them all punished for they are selfish. I want to see myself burried ten feet under the ground.

some random songs..

Big Yellow Taxi

*yawn*

woke up early this morning.. and now I'm feeling sleepy again. I keep thinking i've to write something in here but the moment i log in, i'm like.. what the heck am i doing here! Yeah, silly me. Neways, exams are over and so is 'college'. Not really a cheerful thought but life goes on.

PS: did anyone ever feel like the more you listen to nirnava the more you actually begin to enjoy their music? Too bad there is only one Kurt Cobain.

PS2: why does blogger keep on dying on me? *mad*

Things you'll never get..

I was in such a shitty mood just now. Practically cursed the entire mankind for absolutely no logical reason. And then, when you least expect it, somebody out of the blue makes it all right. Its so weird- yet wonderful, what a mere 'hi' from an old buddy can do =)