Reflections

I was searching for a place to write about the pointlessness of existence.. came down here only to discover that all my posts since I came to Pakistan have been more or less the same. I don't even know how to put it in words... the more I involve myself in debates and other activities, the more empty my life seems. I even made a couple of friends just this week.. attended the bday party of maryum today and enjoyed myself as well. All of them girls are a really nice bunch.. but do I belong with them? My life right now is like a long road with dead ends. I don't see any direction or purpose. Sometimes i feel like i have inculcated too many tangent thoughts in my mind. My belief is weak. I don't get time to be myself. I don't have anything to celebrate. I miss my family. I miss ammi. But I have only myself to blame. I tried so hard to blend in with everyone and everything that I forgot to remember myself.